You've Been Spared

I read Spare by Prince Harry so you don't have to

In the last week I read Spare, Prince Harry’s memoir, to spare you the pain of reading it (pun police are coming for me after this).

There has been much effort put in to disqualify the “facts” of this book, erroneously in my view, this is a memoir after all and as such is a subjective account of things that occurred with all the fallibility that human perception has. The value of a memoir is that it shows how someone interprets events not the facts of the events itself. An honest memoir should acknowledge the subjectivity and foibles of the person writing it. It should show the reader the particular narratives, emotions, and the chosen identity box that the person whose memior it is tries to cram everything into (something we all do).

And as a work of memoir it does this quite well. It gives the reader an insight into the psychology of Prince Harry. In all, reading it has made him a far more understandable and even sympathetic character. It illuminated how the second son of the current King was already primed to leave the royal life, even before the whole “Markle debacle”. In many ways everything that happened after marrying Meghan was just added fodder to a lifetime of holding three main narratives that form the tjemes of his memior.  

Narrative Number 1: The Spare

Despite this being the title of the book, this is the theme of Harry’s life that features the least. He speaks of the rivalry between him and his brother William (whether “Willy” actually perceived their relationship as competitive is something I suppose we will never know). There is an understanding, as he perceives it, and probably that he must be type cast as the sort of figure to never take away from Williams’ shine or jeopardy any idea that he should be the future King. This means being cast in the role of the “thicko” or “bad boy”. He slams the media for putting him in these roles but neither of them is without cause.

The “bad boy” label may have been applied early but all the escapades detailed in the book actually makes a case that he was naughty in the sense of not really conforming to what William had to. It is also a role that is mostly endearing. The fact that he didn’t do all the airs and graces made him a relatable figure and much loved by the everyday person. At least that is the way most of the Australians I know felt… perhaps the Brits had a different feeling.

However, the “thicko” label is too callous but actually goes far more to the crux of Harry’s personality and why the role of the modern Royal was so ill fitting.

I gained far more insight into Harry by his description of his life when he was doing something that he enjoys. He speaks extremely fondly of his time mustering cattle in Australia during his gap year, working in the military and most of all his time in the African wilderness including handling camera equipment for a documentary. Harry is clearly the kind of bloke that likes to do things and enjoys a bit of hard yakka.

In life we all know these types of men that are happiest in a job where they break a sweat and can exhibit physical mastery. But like society in general, there is no longer prestige attached to these jobs and this made it hard for a man such as this to find a role in the modern monarch that is all about prestige.

A large section of the book is devoted to his time in the military. A theme of this time is his desire to be in the action but being denied it because it was too dangerous for him to be there and would do more to embolden the enemy than the his compatriots. The days when the King would lead the charge into battle are long gone it would seem.

If Harry could have stayed in the military in a full working capacity the trajectory of his life would have looked completely different.

In many ways Harry is just the high-born example of the forgotten men all over the developed world who are losing their manual labour jobs and their dignity. Harry could have been an amazing example for blokes everywhere who have this same inclination – that of the doer - and could have even resurrected the prestige in being a working man, but alas that is not the way things went.

It is a real shame.

Narrative Number 2: Diana’s Son

His mother’s death looms extremely large in his life as he describes it. So much of how he interprets the world comes back to this formative experience, and how could it not?

There is a tendency of the media to dismiss any complaint he has as insignificant because he is privileged. This is in large part a warranted criticism but at the same time it ignores that suffering is always relative, and some kinds of suffering, such as losing a parent, can transcend material privilege.

There are many that dispute the “White Privilege” narrative on the grounds that there is more privilege in say, growing up in a two-parent household, than in having a particular skin colour when the data about outcomes are examined.

The problem with Harry’s victim status is not its merit (as many claim) but whether that grants him any authority.

But many do grant authority based on claims of “lived experience” and that is the main neurosis of our times.

We seem to have the inability to “validate” emotions and recognise that suffering or feeling “victimised” may be very real to the individual at the same time understand that viewing the world through a particularly powerful emotion always has the effect of distorting what we are perceiving, and this is precisely why the “believe victims” narrative is so fraught.

His narrative around his mothers’ death whilst all-pervasive suddenly takes on extra tones when Miss Markle enters the picture who – and not to get too Freudian about it – seems to him to be undergoing the exact same experience as his mother did before her untimely death.

To Harry all Meghan’s battles with the media at least rhyme with those of his mother and the disquiet amongst the family is due to Meghan “upstaging” the other members of the family. For being too big for her boots and being a better royal than those born to into the fray – something he views as his mothers’ “sin” against the family that got her ostracised as well.

Again, this is something we will never get the “other side” of the story on but it is very feasible that the media’s focus on the Duke and Duchess of Sussex rather than the most important member of the family – the one that is the crowned monarch – could cause a rupture within the family.

Harry almost sounds like Peter Hitchens in his condemnation of the spectacle of so much emotional outpouring from people that didn’t even know his mother. And although Harry might not have had this connection, the scandal around him and his wife taking up so much air time follows the same tune. It turns the monarchy into a gimmick.

Peter Hitchens’s goes as far as to say of the insanity that engulfed Britain in the aftermath of the death of Princess Di, that it is “unBritish”.

Turning the Royals into Hollywood style celebrities - and ironically now a Hollywood celebrity into a Royal – has led the tabloids to chase the sordid stories that denigrate the institution rather than uphold it in its proper place.     

For this Harry blames the press… and my god does he loath the press.

Narrative Number 3: Enemy of the Press

By far the most all-encompassing theme is the absolute loathing that Harry has for the press.

One of the quotes from the book that has been all over the media, in order to show how ludicrous Harry’s interpretation of events is, is the one where he says that Rupert Murdock’s politics is to the right of the Taliban. This is obviously an exaggeration in the extreme. Also, I am not sure if the Taliban could be considered “rightwing” unless that just means anyone with views you disapprove of not those to the right of the ex-King of France… but that is a philosophical argument for another day.

The point is that Murdock is a villain in Harry’s eyes in ways that surpasses the MDS (Murdock Derangement Syndrome) of the inner-city lefties. He is not only responsible for all of the ills of the world but the one that has haunted his life in particular – the death of his mother.

The greatest ill in Harry’s book is how the frenzied “paps” (paparazzi) act in consort with the Royal family (which might be a fair criticism – but again we will never have the other side of this story).

The problem with Harry’s all out condemnation on the press is those that chase the Royal stories are only following the money. If our culture wasn’t so obsessed with the glitter of celebrity over the weight of a historical institution, the press wouldn’t be so hell bent of the salacious scoop unless it was something of import for the whole concept of the Monarchy.

I think the hypocrisy of trying to escape the press and the culture - that wants to interrogate the lives of celebrities - by going to Hollywood is lost on these two. They don’t see that they are perpetuating the very thing they say they detest.

Harry would have been far better off taking the advice of his elders that told him to ignore the press, but as the very stereotype of a millennial he simply couldn’t do that. And now he has even written a book in which he openly expressly his desire to fight every slight against him and even more so protect his women from any slight against her (which all just sounds a little like Taliban honour-culture-style to me).

If the Sussexes turned the other cheek like they were advised to and just got on with their lives, they wouldn’t be the polarising figures they are today. They would have been worthy of all our respect.

A Future Tragic Hero

I picked up this book with an expectation of it being complete drivel – and perhaps it has benefited from my having such low expectations because I actually thought it wasn’t a bad read. I actually found it to quite an insightful window into a character worthy of an Oedipus style tragedy – again not to get too Freudian.

Harry is a classically tragic figure an early separation from his mother, the potential to do a lot of good, but coming undone by the specter of his past. Reading his memoir perhaps had the desired effect on me, to find him a flawed yet relatable character worthy of perhaps a little less scorn than what is currently being heaped on him.

But if he has anything like the stamina of his Granny – the late Queen – he will have at least another 40 years of life left, and who knows what will come of him in that time.